Hi.

Hi All,

Rather than talk about how this is the first post for Cynical Afro, I would be far more interested in building you a mental picture of my physique in your brain. It's going to be a little bit like Inception, but with an actual screenplay (Hiyo!).

Firstly, lay down. 
Close your eyes. 
I want you to relinquish all of the preconceived notions you have of beauty. 
Done? 
Good.

Since I am the first being to enter your newly refurbished mind, please prepare yourself mentally and physically. My most noticeable feature is my aura of malice. Well not quite malice, but the closest thing to malice that a scrawny tall smurf can muster. Can I use smurf in a Blog post? I'm pretty sure the B in Blog should be a capital at least...

Anyway, I'm pretty attractive. Imagine the most attractive dog you have ever seen and apply those same attractive characteristics to a human. And yes, this would be the time to make poodle jokes. I might draw you a picture later! I would take a photo, but the resulting carnage of beauty that your eyes would have to endure could send you blind.

I feel like this should be the average length of a Blog post. I think I'll keep my posts nice and quick, like a cesarian performed by Freddy Krueger.  So this final paragraph can be the conclusion. In summary, I have watched the entire Freddy Krueger collection. All of it. I didn't even turn it off when she turned into a cockroach. Hmmmmmm.

Stay Tuned - Dazzy